When I think about macho masculinity, one particular memory comes to mind. When my brother was younger, he attended a summer camp that provided busing. He walked into the house one day and he was crying. He told my parents that some kid had been making fun of him. My dad yelled at my brother. He said that my brother should suck it up, be a "man", and stop crying. If the situation had placed me in my brother's shoes, my dad would have expected me to cry. But because my brother was a boy, he was expected to be tough and repress his vulnerability.
When I entered high school, my brother told my mom that if he found out someone as picking on me, he was going to beat that kid up. I was shocked to hear my mother's reaction. She accepted what my brother was saying. I decided that if I was getting picked on, I would take care of it myself. I figured I would handle myself without resorting to violence.
2 comments:
there is definitely a double standard for boys and girls, and it's really annoying, and it doesn't just hurt the boys with being told not to cry. when i was younger, my dad would always assume i couldn't open things myself, like jars and cups of jello, like i wasn't strong enough. and when i got older it was about different things, like when he'd practice sports with me, he always made a point to say he'd "go easy on me". when that's total crap. there is an assumption that girls can't be strong, and good at sports like boys, and an assumption that boys shouldn't be emotional, like girls. parents have different, sometimes lower, expectations for their sons, than for daughters, and it's not fair.
I agree with what you said about stereotypes. Boys are suppose to be tough and girls are suppose to be weak and need a boy to protect them. People need to realize that girls are becoming stronger and more independent.
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